America’s most beloved French-speaking skunk, Pepé Le Pew, is now facing multiple accusations from several wild critters, claiming the skunk committed egregious acts of sexual assault upon them. The infamous skunk is best known for his involvement in the Looney Tunes franchise, as well as other frequent short film appearances for numerous Warner Bros. projects over the years.
Many of the accusers have dwelled in silence for most of their lives due to the overwhelming fear of repercussions one would have to endure, but not anymore. Multiple victims have recently come forward, each sharing their traumatic experiences in hopes of putting an end to Le Pew’s beastial, inexcusable behavior.
An anonymous squirrel had this to say about a brief encounter it shared with Mr. Le Pew last summer:
“We met by a shrub near the oak tree that I was living in at the time. Oak trees are my favorite kind of trees, mostly due to their warmth and comfortability, but also for their elegant and simplistic good-looks, specifically Northern Red Oak. Anyway, it was night time and I was gathering nuts, when suddenly, an odorous figure emerged from the shadows. It was none other than Pepé Le Pew. I watched as he gallivanted his skunkish body towards mine. He wreaked of a vile stench that I am unable to express with mere words. There isn’t a single term or phrase in the entire squirrel vocabulary that could begin to describe such an unholy fragrance. He then asked, using that predatory French acccent of his, what I was doing. I simply told him I was gathering nuts for tomorrow’s breakfast. He proceeded to make an inappropriate innuendo about nuts and that’s when I informed him that I must be returning to my oak tree immediately. He begged and pleaded for me to stay, clutching my wrist tightly while spewing romantic musings at me. He must’ve mistaken me for a skunk—it was night time after all. I tried to escape from his firm grasp, but it was no use. Suddenly, I began screaming out for help. This panicked him to a great extent until he finally let me go. But before he released me, he casually lifted up my bushy tail, closed his eyes and proceeded to sniff me from behind. I was traumatized beyond belief. I felt used, like a half-eaten acorn. It’s still difficult to talk about, even now. But at the very least, I hope my story will inspire others to come forward and share their experiences with the rest of the world until justice is finally served.”
Penelope Pussycat, Pepé’s co-star, has also recently revealed that Le Pew sexually assaulted her dozens of times throughout her extensive acting career. She described, in great depth, the psychological turmoil and its troublesome effects as the following:
“I took a lot of cat-naps, started experimenting with large doses of catnip, I even considered becoming an outdoor cat. I guess it was my way of trying to remove those unwanted memories from my subconscious. I just assumed this kind of stuff happened to all black-cats that vaguely resembled skunks, but I was wrong. I spent my whole life trying to convince myself that it wasn’t a big deal, consistently avoiding my untreated wounds, pretending they didn’t exist. It was easier that way. But as soon as I saw all the other animals start to come forward and share their horror stories, I knew I couldn’t suppress my sorrow any longer. I had to do something.”
Several other notable victims have also claimed that Le Pew committed acts of sexual assault against them, including, but not limited to: Petunia Pig, Tinker Bell, Smurfette, Hello Kitty, the toaster from The Brave Little Toaster franchise, and Eeyore, the sexually ambiguous donkey from The Adventures Of Winnie The Pooh.
Several public figures have reached out via social media showing their support and solidarity for the victims involved, including various members of the Looney Tune troop. This morning, Tweety Bird tweeted:
“Unfortunately, this surprising news is not surprising to me. I and many others have suspected this for a long time. My thoughts and prayers go out to all the victims involved. #MeToo”
Meanwhile, Elmer Fudd, notorious rabbit-hunter and outspoken gun-enthusiast, took to Facebook and called for the “Immediate castration of all wild skunks, especially ones that speak French.”
Although Pepé Le Pew has yet to be charged in a court of law, the backlash and ramifications have already begun to manifest. Warner Bros. has taken down multiple clips featuring the famous skunk from YouTube. They’ve also announced that they’ll be removing the character in its entirety from all future DVD re-releases and replacing it with a CGI German-speaking racoon, aptly named Rupert Von Gruberstein. Versace has also announced the discontinuation of Le Pew’s exotic line of fragrances and perfumes, revealing that the two parties are no longer conducting business with one another.
Pepé Le Pew now joins the towering wave of Hollywood stars who’ve recently been exposed for their sexual misconduct. It’s quite evident that there’s been a plague of poisonous misogyny running rampant through the veins of this country. Luckily, we find ourselves currently living in a time where the stage is perfectly set and dressed for victims to tell their stories, and for those stories to be heard—not judged nor ignored. Thanks to all the brave voices who’ve broken their silence, justice can now finally be served.